Don't call it a resolution...

I hate that I'm impulsive. I hate that I think with my heart more often than I think with my head. I hate that I don't take the advice of people who love me and want the best for me. I see now, more than ever, that my husband was right...about most things. The most recent thing being our adoption of Gypsy.

I have just taken her out for her 5th walk today. It's only noon. I have a crying newborn that I must leave to go outside to walk the dog since we live in an apartment. My attention is often torn between my newborn or our new dog. I don't like having to choose between my child and our pet. I don't like leaving Kam while I take Gypsy out to sniff around and sometimes do her "business". And since she's still a puppy, I'm constantly having to watch her to make sure she doesn't chew up shoes or toys or whatever else she can get into when I'd much rather constantly watch my newborn daughter. And focus my excess energy on getting a job to supplement our income.

Mike wasn't ready for another pet after Hasek. He tried to remind me of the work involved with a new pet. Both he and my father tried to tell me to wait. But, no...I wanted to "fill the void" of losing Hasek. Not only did it not work, but now I'm missing out on Kamryn time.

I'm so torn, but I think it's time to throw in the towel. I regret adopting in the first place, and I shouldn't continue to be a doggy-parent. I have close friends who are rabid pet-lovers who might think that giving Gypsy back is terrible. I certainly feel terrible. But, I choose my human kids over my pets. And at this point in our lives, we cannot have both. Am I a bad person? Maybe to some. Although I do feel bad, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I made a bad decision. We all make them. I need to fix it and move on. And listen to my husband more often. But don't call it a New Year resolution...call it long overdue.